| MASS MURDERER: | Hi. I'm going to kill 3,000 people in one fell swoop.
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| PERSON: | Thanks for the warning!
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| MASS MURDERER: | Actually, I didn't really warn you. I already did it.
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| PERSON: | You deserve your day in court!
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| MASS MURDERER: | No thanks. I'm going to go hide and make it extremely difficult for you to find me. You can safely assume that I do not want a day in your courts.
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| PERSON: | No no, I insist!
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| MASS MURDERER: | It's okay. I am going to hole up in the last place you'll expect to find me. I'm going to cover most of my tracks. And I will continue to agitate my followers into killing as many of you as possible using suicide bombers. If that's okay with you.
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| PERSON: | Then I MUST insist you have your day in court!
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| MASS MURDERER: | Really, it's okay! Besides, I understand that I deserve my day in court. Which means I am free to go there of my own accord, be appointed a lawyer or several lawyers, and call witnesses in my defense, saying that I was totally justified in killing thousands of people in accordance with my perverted interpretation of religious doctrine! Except, I don't want to go to court. I want to hide and keep murdering people! There, I just bombed the subways in London. Kaboom!
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| PERSON: | Oh dear. You MUST go to court now! We must not shoot you in the head in the middle of the night in your hiding place, especially since that might disrupt your plans to continue to call for the killing of all you have disagreements with.
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| MASS MURDERER: | Yes, you actually can. I want to be a martyr, you see!
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| PERSON: | Is it okay if we dump you in the ocean instead?
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| MASS MURDERER: | People might make a fuss if you do.
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| PERSON: | Oh, jeez. What to do, what to do?
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| MASS MURDERER: | Until you figure it out, I'm going to keep on indiscriminately killing people. Enjoy your internal debates over your moral relativism! And please, don't whoop it up when I finally die.
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| PERSON: | It will be more of a catharsis, really. But until then, see you in court! |